


Rotten Souls

by Faithxoxo



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: A little angst on the side, AU starting from the first Isle of the Lost Book, Evie and Uma become best friends after Mal locks Evie in Cruella's closet at Carlos' party, F/F, F/M, I tried to be funny, I'm a sucker for the pirate/princess trope, Imagine if Evie were faking being Mal's friend, It continues throughout the whole Descendants movies, Meanwhile doing recon for Uma and Harry, Multi, Romantic Comedy, She also loves them btw, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18926764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faithxoxo/pseuds/Faithxoxo
Summary: Evie can’t see where she’s going when she leaves Carlos’ party, her vision is blurry from crying, her mascara is ruined, her eyes are stinging. She has to get away from the laughter behind her.“You want to be my friend, don’t you?” Mal asked, and then she locked Evie in Hell’s closet. Everyone saw, everyone knew, except her. The naive castle-schooled princess.Evie wipes furiously at her eyes, trips over a fallen fishing crate, and realizes she took the wrong path and ended up at the docks.She hears the click of heeled boots, the scrape of a sword along the ground.“I think you wandered into the wrong part of town, Princess Blueberry.”Evie is quickly starting to hate that word, “Don’t call me that,” She sniffs, “My name’s Evie.”“Congrats on knowing your own name.” There’s a weighted pause, then, “You can call me Uma.”





	1. The Girl on the Dock

**Author's Note:**

> Hey loves! I've come out of hiding to deliver a new story idea that's been banging around my head for a while, and I just had to write it out and see where it would take me! I love both Uma and Evie, and I've always been obsessed with the concept of them being friends. Since they were both Mal's best friend at one point, and she did something against both of them, I thought it'd be cool to see a different version of the story where after Mal humiliates her, Evie runs into Uma and the two commiserate over their shared hatred and eventually learn to trust and love each other. Also, Harry's there, because the pirate and the princess trope is one of my absolute faves. Featuring Gil as the best friend anyone could ask for and Uma's crew just being generally awesome and badass. This will start off following the plot of the Isle of the Lost book, and will continue throughout the plot of D1 and D2. This is just me imagining what would've happened if Evie was part of Uma's crew instead of Mal's group.

* * *

Evie has two things on her mind when she arrives at Carlos’ party. One, is finding Carlos and thanking him for inviting her, because her mother raised her with manners. Two, is having a good time and getting compliments from all the other party-goers who look worse than her.

Evie has two things on her mind when she leaves Carlos’ party. One, is that Mal is a carbon copy of her mother, and Evie has never hated anyone before, but she just might hate her. Two, is imminent death. Her imminent death. She hopes it’ll be quick and painless. Maybe she can get deadly food poisoning from Frollo’s crepe special.

Her vision is blurry from tears, her mascara is unsalvageable, her feet ache because she thought wearing six-inch heels was sensible. It is not a good night.

She thought getting out of her castle, away from the choking atmosphere and the suffocating presence of her mother, would make life better. Evie has never felt more hurt or alone.

She’s still trapped. Her mother or Mal. There’s always someone waiting to smother her. She can’t escape, she can’t get away.

She’s in a prison with no bars, she’s in a place with no air. She can’t breathe.

Her breaths are coming out loud and ragged, her throat is constricting, her chest is a war-zone. Everything aches. She’s never wanted more to be anyone but herself.

Evie wipes furiously at her eyes, tripping over a fallen crate and catching herself at the last minute. The smell of day-old fish fills her nose, she tripped over a fishing crate. She must have taken the wrong path. She’s not at the market, she’s at the docks.

“Zeus, are you kidding me with this?” Evie huffs, her throat burning. “Can this night get any worse?”

She hears the click of heeled boots across the wooden dock, the scrape of a sword trailing along the ground.

“Oh, come on,” She sniffs, drying her cheeks with her scarf. “Really? Zeus, turn on your location, I just want to talk.”

“He’s been sending my calls straight to voicemail, if you manage to get in touch with him, tell him I’m really pissed off.” A smooth, silky voice cuts through the buzzing in her ears. Evie tenses, readying herself for a fight. She is fully prepared to step on this person with her high heels. She’ll just pretend it’s Mal and the guilt will go away.

In the half-darkness, all Evie can see is sea-colored braids and dark chocolate eyes.

Evie’s been locked up in a castle since she was six, her first source of human contact in ten years besides her mother was Carlos, and Carlos stares at Jay’s ass more than he stares at hers.

Evie spent her whole childhood learning what beauty looks like, Evie sees herself in the mirror and can pick out every flaw, every defect. She knows what beauty looks like.

This girl takes beautiful to higher and better places, Evie might have to revise her definition.

“Holy poison apples,” Evie says, the words slipping out. All that crying must have affected her brain. “You are gorgeous.”

The girl makes a face like Evie kicked her, “What?”

“Sorry, please ignore me.” Evie laughs wetly, “I just had a mental breakdown. Feel free to go on your way. Have a rotten evening.”

“Oh, thank Poseidon, I thought you were trying to hit on me.”

“Me having a breakdown is better than me hitting on you?”

“I’ve already got one slightly unstable person hitting on me, I don’t need another.”

“That’s slightly concerning.”

“Nah, it’s cool. He’s my best friend.”

“That’s even more concerning.”

The girl shrugs, “He’s cute, and possessive, and he likes stabbing things. But that’s what I love about him.”

“Um,” Evie feels wildly unequipped to be having this conversation. “Congratulations? He sounds…amazing?”

“He is,” The girl crosses her arms, a half-smile playing on her lips. “His name’s Harry.”

“Harry Hook?” It figures Evie would run into Captain Hook’s future daughter-in-law. She feels her pulse quicken, she may be an average fighter, but she’s no match for the son of Captain Hook, especially if he’s mad at her for hitting on his girlfriend. “I’m sorry for having a breakdown on your dock, please don’t tell your future father-in-law to kill me.”

“My future…” The girl’s eyes widen, “Oh, no. Harry and I aren’t together, and we’re definitely not engaged.” She adds, as though it’s an afterthought, “Even though he wishes we were.”

“Thank Hades,” Evie says, “There’s no way I could run in these heels.”

“What’s with that, anyway?”

“I was at a party earlier,” Evie almost starts crying again just thinking about it. There’s no way she can go back to Dragon Hall on Monday. She’s going to have to be castle-schooled for the rest of her life, she might as well become a shut-in like Ginny Gothel. “It wasn’t very fun. The exact opposite, actually.”

“You decided to wear six-inch heels for a party?”

Evie gasps, rushing to defend her fashion choices. “They go perfectly with this dress and compliment my legs nicely.”

The girl arches an eyebrow, “Couldn’t you have just worn flats in the same color?”

Evie has never been more offended in her _life_ , “I wear three inches or I wear nothing.”

The girl chuckles, low and melodic, and Evie is sure she is going to have a heart attack. She wishes she didn’t get so flustered over pretty girls. And pretty boys. And anyone, really.

“There are two kinds of people, I guess,” The girl’s eyes sparkle. Slowly, a smile spreads across her face. “Maybe I should’ve asked this before having a whole-ass conversation with you, but what’re you doing wandering around the nasty part of town?”

“I was having a well-deserved emotional breakdown,” Evie says, suddenly realizing she’s been talking to this girl for the past who-knows-how-long and she doesn’t even know her name. She could be an axe-murderer. She’s carrying a sword, for Hades’ sake, she could be a sword-murderer. “Didn’t I mention I was having a breakdown?”

“You did, actually,” The girl says, and Evie can’t tell if she’s impressed or disgusted. “Not really something you wanna be going around telling people, by the way.”

“I’ll take that into future consideration.”

The girl snorts, “Wow. Either you’ve got guts or you’re crazy.”

“Might be a bit of both.” Evie replies honestly, she must be crazy to have thought there was ever a chance of Mal not being totally horrible.

“One thing’s for sure, you’re dressed way too nice to be the daughter of anyone I know,” The girl scans her from head-to-toe. Evie is reminded that her mascara is destroyed and she probably looks like a raccoon. “Wait, are you the daughter of the Evil Queen?”

Evie freezes. The girl’s eyes flash wickedly, “You are. I should’ve known. The blue hair is a dead giveaway.”

Evie doesn’t say anything. This is exactly the last thing she needed, another person finding out she’s the castle-schooled hermit princess and mocking her for it.

“We don’t usually get royalty around here, forgive me if I don’t curtsy.” The girl’s expression is calculating, like she’s trying to pick Evie apart. “Why’s the Blueberry Princess having an emotional breakdown on a grimy dock?”

Evie flinches, she is quickly starting to hate that word, “Don’t call me that.” She says, raising her chin defiantly. “My name’s Evie.”

Surprise flickers across the girl’s face, “Well, what do you know,” A pleased look quickly replaces it. “Looks like the princess has some bite in her. I can respect that.”

The girl takes a step forward and extends her hand to shake, “You can call me Uma.”

Evie meets her halfway, she’s wearing black leather fingerless gloves. Evie might make herself a pair later. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine. Now, how about you tell me why you’re having a breakdown on my dock.”

And Evie tells her.

* * *

 

“You hate her too?”

“With every ounce of rage in my body. And trust me, I have a lot of rage,” Uma lounges back against the wooden crate, legs dangling out over the edge of the water. “She’s a hell-spawn disguised as an over-grown purple gecko.”

Evie blinks, she thinks that’s a lot of anger for someone as tiny as Uma. “What’s the story there? Is there one?”

“I laid eyes on her once and said _this ain’t it_.”

“Sounds believable,” Evie rolls her eyes, nudging Uma with her elbow. “You don’t have to tell me, but it’s only fair considering I told you my tragic backstory.”

Uma groans and fiddles with one of her braids, “Fine. She and I were best friends when we were eight or nine, and one day we were playing on the docks and she slipped like a bumbling moron and fell into the water. My mom taught me how to swim, half sea-goddess, you know? Anyway, me, being an eight-year-old _idiot_ , I laughed at her. It was the kind of stuff we’d tease each other about, and I thought because my mom taught me how to swim that her mother taught her. She didn’t come up for long time, so I started getting worried because I thought she drowned or something. While I’m all worried about her and shit she comes up behind me and dumps a bucket of shrimp on my head.”

Uma pauses, jaw clenching. All of her earlier amusement has vanished. Evie feels bad for asking, wishes she could take it back. This is so much worse than what Mal did to her. At least Evie and Mal were never friends, Evie can’t imagine ever humiliating someone she considered a friend because of something so trivial. She really regrets not telling Mal she has horrible split-ends and appalling fashion sense when she had the chance.

Uma continues, a faraway look in her eyes, “It took me years and a lot of hair damage to get the smell to go away. The worst part was, _everyone_ saw it. She started calling me Shrimpy and it just…followed me. Everywhere. I transferred out of Dragon Hall to Serpent Prep because I couldn’t stand the name anymore. I’ve hated her ever since.”

Evie worries her bottom lip, fingers twitching in her lap. She wants to reach out and hold Uma’s hand, she wants to get rid of that expression on Uma’s face, but she doesn’t know how Uma will react. Evie’s never had a friend; Evie doesn’t know what to do.

She inhales sharply. She chances it.

Uma’s hand is warm and soft in hers, and she doesn’t pull away. Uma lets Evie hold her hand.

And that’s how it starts.


	2. I Think I Could Love It Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie adjusts to life in the crew, and finally discovers what it's like to have a real family. She decides she loves Harry's eyes, and Uma's laugh, and Gil's smile, more than she could ever love any prince. She decides she's found a place she belongs. She thinks she could be happy, she wonders if it'll last. Nothing ever does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL, I WILL BE UPDATING MY OTHER DESCENDANTS STORY SHORTLY, I PROMISE. Now that that's said, hello loves and I hope you're all doing wonderfully and that summer is warmer where you are than where I am. It does not feel like June, it really doesn't. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first chapter, and if you want me to continue, let me know in the comments! I love each and every single one of you beautiful people, and I hope you enjoy the second chapter as much as the first! This chapter's longer than the last one, I don't know whether to apologize or say your welcome. I tried being funny again, if you want me to quit while I'm ahead, just tell me :). Also, I watched Good to Be Bad, the song we're getting in D3, and can I just say,, I don't really like the idea of VK day. Like, these poor kids need to APPLY to get their shot at a better life? Like what happened to Evie's list? Why's Dizzy still on the Isle? WHERE'S UMA? WHERE'S SHE AT? Why do I have to watch another movie about Mal? I'll shut up gimme a minute.
> 
> Anyway, moving on, on with the story and I hope you all like it! xoxo

* * *

Uma introduces her to the best group of people Evie thinks she’ll ever meet.

She meets the crazy best friend, Harry. He’s everything Uma said he was. He’s the most beautiful boy Evie’s ever seen, he likes his hook a little too much, and he’s so in love with Uma Evie thinks if Uma said the word, he’d marry her on the spot.

She meets a literal ray of sunshine, Gil, and on the Isle someone like Gil is as good as gold. He starts following Evie everywhere, to the market to get new sewing material, to the barges to steal from the Goblins, he even walks her home.

She meets Jonas, who thinks he’s a stand-up comedian, and his sister Desiree, who likes the way Evie does her eyeliner and lets Evie do her makeup.

She meets Gonzo, whose jokes are actually funny instead of cheesy, and Cook, who lets Evie taste-test her new recipes and always sneaks Evie the freshest fruit she gets.

She thinks this is what she’s been looking for her whole life.

Gil calls them a family. Uma and Harry call them a crew.

Evie thinks having a crew is much better than having a prince.

* * *

“Evie, I told you no—”

“You said maybe,” Evie reminds Uma, pulling her out of the Chip Shoppe and calling to Desi to cover her shift. “That’s not a no.”

Uma glares, “In the future, take it as a no.”

“Good thing we’re in the present, and I took it as a yes,” Evie half-drags Uma down the street, grinning when the Curl Up and Dye sign comes into view. “I swear, this place is the best. Dizzy does my hair, and my hair always looks fabulous, doesn’t it?”

Uma looks like it kills her to say it, “Yeah, it does.” She admits grudgingly.

Evie beams, knocking three times on the salon door to let Dizzy know it’s her. They have a code in case Lady Tremaine’s in the salon or Dizzy’s stuck doing demeaning chores and can’t answer. If Dizzy’s stuck doing chores, Evie usually sneaks in through the back door and helps her out.

There’s the sound of footsteps and then Dizzy opens the door, smiling from ear-to-ear. “Is that her?” She asks, gesturing to Uma.

“Yes,” Evie says, tugging Uma inside the salon and kicking the door shut behind her. She approached Dizzy a few days ago and asked her if she could bring a friend to the salon for the full Dizzy Tremaine treatment. Dizzy had been ecstatic.

Her enthusiasm hasn’t faded at all, she’s practically bouncing. “Hi, my name’s Dizzy. You must be Evie’s friend; she talks about you a lot. She said you want the works, and I’m the girl to give it to you!”

Uma shoots Evie a dark look. “Really. I want the works?”

“Yes, you do,” Evie smiles, giving Uma a quick peck on the cheek and ducking away before the girl can do anything in retaliation. “I’ll be over here, painting my nails. You’re in good hands. Thanks again for doing this, Dizzy.”

“It’s my pleasure!” Dizzy says, clapping her hands excitedly. “Just have a seat and we can start.”

Uma stares at Evie. Evie stares back.

Uma sighs, looking defeated, “I hate you.”

“I know you mean love,” Evie picks out a jar of midnight blue nail polish and starts applying the base coat. “Don’t worry, you can thank me later.”

“I’m sure that’s what I’ll be doing,” Uma says, “I definitely won’t be putting hair remover in your shampoo.”

Evie doesn’t look away from her nails, “No, you won’t, because you love my hair. You admitted to it. No take backs.”

Uma plops down in the chair and lets Dizzy drape a sheet over her, “I regret ever meeting you.”

“It was the best day of your life and you know it,” Evie says, blowing on her nails.

* * *

Dizzy spins Uma’s chair towards the full-length mirror and exclaims, “Voila!”

Evie’s nails have long since dried. She’s putting the finishing touches on a new outfit design in her sketchbook when Uma inhales sharply. Evie’s head snaps up.

“What’s wrong—” She stops, her eyes catching on Uma’s expression. The tremble of her bottom lip, the way her fingers are twitching as she brings them up and runs them through her hair.

Dizzy’s happiness evaporates, she glances worriedly between Uma and Evie. “Do you not like it? Did I do it wrong? Is it the color? You said you wanted something new, so I thought—”

Uma’s hair is out of her usual braids, falling down her shoulders in waves all the way to the small of her back. It’s dark and thick and healthy-looking, Dizzy washed all the product out of it and rinsed it with a special conditioner she and Evie cooked up together after the barges stopped bringing conditioner and only brought bar soap. Evie absolutely refuses to wash her hair with bar soap like a caveman.

Uma’s hair is a vibrant bright teal color, the tips dyed a shimmery turquoise and the roots ebony black. The scent that fills the room is ocean-breeze and strawberry. Dizzy painted Uma’s nails a mix of sea-foam green and aqua blue, with little starfish stick-on decals.

She looks reinvented; she looks remade.

She looks like herself, but all of the best parts are showing. She’s breathtaking.

“You look amazing,” Evie says, breathlessly, at the same time Uma says, “It’s amazing.”

Evie bites her lip and averts her eyes to the paint-splattered carpet. She feels Uma’s gaze on her. Awkward.

“So you do like it?” Dizzy asks, looking hopeful. “Really?”

“It’s the best my hair’s looked in years.” Uma pulls a fifty out of her jacket pocket and hands it to Dizzy. “You’ve just earned yourself a new customer, little Tremaine.”

Dizzy’s jaw drops, “For me? This is way too much!”

“How _dare_ you,” Evie interjects, hands on her hips. Uma makes it so hard to do nice things for her. “There’s no way you’re paying.”

“I just did,” Uma retorts, hopping out of the chair. “Too late. Dizzy, quick, put the money in the register and run.”

“Oh, I don’t think so! This was supposed to be my treat.”

“Dizzy, the register, run!”

In the end, Evie ends up paying Dizzy another fifty because she refuses to let it go and Uma refuses to back down, and really, Dizzy deserves it for putting up with Evie’s high-maintenance attitude all these years.

Dizzy shouts, “I’m so happy I could cry!”

Uma replies wearily, “Please don’t, I’m terrible around crying children.”

Dizzy throws her arms around the both of them in a tight bear hug, squealing cheerfully.

Evie laughs and hugs the girl back. Uma blinks owlishly and pats Dizzy’s head twice, “I’m terrible when it comes to hugs, too.”

“I think you’re doing pretty good,” Dizzy says, with the kind of honesty only someone truly young can achieve.

Uma’s expression softens, almost imperceptibly. Evie flashes her a coy smile.

“You’re welcome,” She sing-songs.

There’s not a trace of sarcasm in Uma’s voice when she answers, “Thanks, princess. I mean it.”

Evie feels her cheeks heat up, “Don’t mention it. Harry’s going to have an aneurysm when he sees you.”

Uma’s eyes linger on her face a second too long, “Yeah. Probably.”

Evie feels a hand settle on her lower back. It can’t be Dizzy’s; Dizzy’s arms are around Evie’s waist.

“You know what this means?” Uma asks quietly.

Evie’s heart skips a beat, “What?”

“You did something for me,” Uma explains, “So now I’m going to do something for you.”

“You don’t have to,” Evie hurries to say. _You’ve done more than enough._

“I do,” Uma licks her lips. It’s very distracting. Evie thinks this must be how Harry feels all the time. It’s unbearable. “That’s how this crew works. C’mon, princess, I thought you would’ve known that by now.”

“Can I have a hint?” Evie asks, a shiver going up her spine. She knows she’ll love whatever Uma gives her, it’s _Uma_ , there’s no way she won’t.

“No, but don’t worry.” Uma smiles, slow and dazzling. “You’ll find out soon enough. You deserve something for constantly putting up with our shit.”

Uma’s next words are almost inaudible, but Evie is paying close attention. They make her feel warm all over, they make her feel worth something.

 _“You deserve so much.”_ Uma whispers.

_“You deserve the world.”_

* * *

One week later, Harry invites Evie to his private quarters on the Lost Revenge. Half of her is terrified, the other half of her is intrigued. Harry manages to be both the best guy friend she’s ever had and the worst. Then again, Evie’s only experience is Carlos, and that didn’t end so well.

Evie is a strange mix of concerned and excited when she knocks on the first mate’s cabin door. The excitement wins out.

When Harry opens the door, he’s completely and utterly naked.

Evie nearly faints.

“Holy poison apple pies,” She mutters.

Harry’s eyes light up, cerulean blue and glowing in the mid-morning sunlight. “Tell me I’m pretty,” He orders.

He outshines pretty by a mile, Evie thinks, wondering if the princes in Auradon her mother always told her about could hold a candle to Harry. “You’re pretty,” She tells him.

The first mate smirks lazily, “On a scale of one to ten?”

“Fifteen,” Evie says, her brain short-circuiting. She’s going to be so embarrassed about this later, but that’s future Evie’s problem. “Easily.”

“From one fifteen to another,” Harry opens the door wider and gestures grandly, “Welcome to the club.”

“I’m a twenty, but thank you,” Evie says, regaining her composure and breezing past him into the cabin. It’s bigger than Gil’s, but still much smaller than her room back at her castle. “What club am I joining and why wasn’t I aware I was joining it?”

“The Uma fan-club,” Harry huffs, “ _Obviously_.”

“Obviously,” Evie rolls her eyes, sitting primly on the bed in the corner of the room. Harry likes to feel the ship rocking as he sleeps, and the far wall has a porthole he likes to gaze out of. It might be a little creepy of Evie to know this. Oh well.

Harry produces a gavel from somewhere and raps it loudly against the wall three times, “This meeting is hereby called to order. It’s your first meeting, so listen up.”

Evie glances around, it’s just the two of them. “Can we really have an Uma fan-club meeting without Uma?”

“Our best meetings are when she’s not around,” Harry explains, “We work in secret.”

“Why?”

“Or else she’ll kill us.” Evie shoots him a slightly worried look. He waves it away, “Moving right along, this week’s agenda is; drowning she-who-shall-not-be-named in the wharf and hiding her body in Maleficent’s bathtub.”

Evie frowns, there are so many questions she wants to ask, but she’s sort of afraid to ask them. She settles on the most urgent one, “How do you plan on drowning she-who-shall-not-be-named exactly?” She-who-shall-not-be-named is code for Mal. None of Uma’s crew particularly like hearing her name.

“Kidnap her, of course,” Harry grins, that somewhat unstable gleam in his eyes. It says something about Evie that she’s used to that look by now. “As for hiding her body in Maleficent’s bathtub, that will require a little more finesse and planning. Not to worry, I have complete faith in us.”

Evie grimaces, “Why am I your go-to for kidnapping and murder?”

“We’re the co-captains of the Uma protection squad, darling,” Harry says, the picture of seriousness. “We need to unite our forces and defeat the wretched evil that stalks our captain.”

“I didn’t know Mal stalked Uma,” Evie scrunches up her nose. She’s one of Uma’s best friends, they go everywhere together, she thinks she would’ve noticed a purple blob following them around.

“The evil is discreet is her stalkerish ways,” Harry growls, banging the gavel a couple more times for no reason. Evie thinks it’s a testament to how close they’ve gotten that she’s not even slightly phased. “It was only through my brilliant observation skills that I realized her dastardly intentions.”

“What’re her intentions?” Evie asks, anger rising at the thought of Mal trying to humiliate Uma again. It’s not going to happen this time, Evie’s wearing a new pair of heels and she’s just itching to break them in by stomping all over Mal’s face.

“I don’t know,” Harry says, “I just know they’re dastardly.”

Something else strikes Evie as odd, “How exactly did you realize Mal was following Uma? Did you see her hiding in the bushes or something?”

“No,” Harry’s mouth tightens. Evie shoots him a questioning look. He sighs, “I, ah, was watching her…from a distance, and I caught Mal doing the same.”

Evie is speechless for a good two minutes. This boy is unbelievable. “You mean to tell me you found out Mal was stalking Uma while you were…stalking Uma?”

“It sounds dreadfully bad when you say it like that,” Harry grumbles. “But essentially, yes.”

“Seek help,” Evie says sternly.

“I am,” Harry retorts, “I sought you out, didn’t I?”

“I am nowhere near equipped enough to unpack all of your emotional issues.”

“Well, that’s plain rude,” Harry sniffs. “And to think I got naked for you.”

“For me?” Evie is taken aback, “I thought you were lusting after Uma?”

“Oh, I am, like it’s my day job,” Harry informs her cheerfully. “But I’m good at multitasking.”

“Well, in that case,” Evie smirks flirtatiously and beckons him forward. “Why don’t you come over here and help me return the favor?”

Harry frowns, “We’re supposed to be plotting she-who-shall-not-be-named’s imminent and very painful demise.”

“Didn’t you say you were good at multitasking?” Evie shrugs out of her blue leather jacket, it took her a whole night to sew. She slips off her heels, Harry is starting to look very interested. “How about we put our brains to work?”

“I do love your brain,” Harry’s eyes roam her body. His expression flickers dangerously, and that’s all the warning Evie has before he pounces on the bed and traps her with his arms. “Show me that fierce intelligence of yours.”

“Force is equal to mass multiplied by acceleration,” Evie recites, recalling the notes in the physics textbook she got from one of the barges and hid from her mother because her mother thinks reading is dangerous or something.

“Beautiful,” Harry whispers, pressing a bruising kiss to Evie’s neck. She gasps, “You jerk, I didn’t bring a scarf with me.”

“Good.” He crashes their lips together; his hands slip beneath the material of her satin top. “You’re dangerous with a scarf.”

“I thought you liked me dangerous.”

“I like you any way you are,” Harry says into her skin, a warm weight on top of her. Nothing has ever felt more right.

“You’re a special kind of treasure, princess. You’ll understand it someday.”

* * *

She and Harry hook up a total of five times before Uma finds out.

Once, they’re in the back room of the Chip Shoppe. They’re supposed to be cleaning, but Harry has the attention span of a goldfish.

Another time, they’re in the Crow’s Nest of the Lost Revenge. Evie has no idea how they didn’t get caught all the way up there. Gil walked right by them, waved, and said nothing.

“He’s lucky he’s pretty,” Harry said, kissing a trail down Evie’s stomach.

“I bet you got a lot of that growing up,” Evie commented, hands fisted in his hair.

“You know what, I did, thank you for reminding me.”

They don’t do it in Harry’s cabin again after that first time because Uma has a habit of walking in without knocking.

“She’s going to find out eventually,” Evie tells Harry.

“And when that day comes, I’ll die.” Harry bucks his hips, holding her tightly against the wall. Evie should be more disturbed that they’re doing this in Gil’s room, but Gil’s not here and hopefully will never find out.

“You’re going to die and leave me here?” Evie digs her red nails into the skin of his shoulders. “I thought pirates had a code or something.”

“We do, but no one bothers to read it.”

“Helpful,” Evie bites back a moan, “Stop talking.”

“You started it,” Harry says, burying his head in her hair. “And don’t worry, Uma will kill you right after she gets through with me.”

“That’s not comforting.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be.”

“You are the worst at pep talks.” Evie hisses as he nips at her earlobe. “Don’t you dare give me another bite mark or I’m going to string you up from the crow’s nest.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Harry’s breath tickles her cheek. “How dare you insult my pep talks? They’re very motivational.”

“Don’t you have better things to do with your mouth?” Evie demands.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Harry laughs, and Evie’s vision goes blurry.

They get caught with their pants down—literally, in Harry’s case—when Uma finishes her late shift at the Chip Shoppe early and Harry and Evie are continuing their tradition of christening every dark corner of the Lost Revenge.

They’re in the brig, Harry pressing her up against the rotted wood of the mast, when the door leading to the lower deck bursts open.

“Harry, Evie, are you down here—”

Evie shrieks and accidentally knees Harry in the stomach. He yelps and stumbles backward, falling flat on his ass on the floor.

Uma’s eyes go comically wide, “What is going on?”

“Uh,” Evie shoots Harry a horrified look. “Um.”

“Would you believe,” The first mate drawls, “That I was showing her how to do CPR?”

“Your tongue was in her mouth,” Uma snaps, “Not exactly life-saving!”

“I am a very hands-on teacher,” Harry replies, “And I will have you know my tongue has saved many people’s lives.”

“Harry,” Evie hisses, mortified.

“ _Evie_ ,” Harry responds, mockingly.

“Uma,” Uma’s voice is nearly a growl. “Great. Now that we all know our names, what the Hades is going on?”

“You heard her,” Harry looks at her expectantly, “Tell her what the Hades is going on.”

“Why me?” Evie frowns, worrying that she’s going to get a stress pimple from all this anxiety.

“Because we’re _partners in crime_ ,” Harry waggles his eyebrows.

“You’re a terrible partner!” Evie yells at him, “You’re worse than Jonas when it comes to cooking!”

“You take that back!” Harry scowls. “I am an _amazing_ cook.”

Evie throws her hands up in exasperation, “That’s not what I meant!”

“Will someone just tell me what the fuck is going on,” Uma cuts in, “Or am I going to have to bust some heads?”

“You can bust _my_ head whenever you want—” Harry starts, but Evie interrupts him before he digs them into a deeper grave.

“Harry and I have been hooking up for about two weeks now,” Evie chances a glance at Uma.

Uma’s expression screams bloody murder, but what comes out of her mouth is, “Without _me_? Harry Hook, you fucking backstabber. My own first mate betrayed me,” Uma starts unzipping her jacket and Evie’s head is spinning. “By hooking up with my best friend and not inviting me.”

Evie is about to have a heart attack at sixteen. Harry lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug, “You want to join in?” He asks.

Uma sheds her jacket and kicks off her boots, “You’re damn right I want to join in.”

“How is this my life,” Evie asks no one in particular.

Uma has her up against the mast again in the blink of an eye, “You’re either really lucky,” Uma twirls a lock of Evie’s hair, smirking mischievously. “Or really unlucky.”

“Well, I am the luckiest pirate in the world,” Harry declares, producing a bag of stale popcorn out of nowhere, sprawling out on the floor as though he’s getting ready to watch.

“Maybe a combination of both,” Evie says, just as Uma’s lips meet hers, and the world explodes into colour.

 

 

 


	3. Adventures in Dragonsitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You want me to what?" Evie demanded.  
> "Go adventuring with Mal and her band of morons, and come back with Maleficent's scepter." Uma said, as though that was a perfectly reasonable request.  
> "She's going to kill me and hide my body in a ditch," Evie pointed out.  
> "No she won't," Harry scoffed. "She doesn't have the upper body strength."  
> Evie glared at him. He smirked and said, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, love."  
> Evie threw her hands up, "This is way too close!"  
> Why did she love these two idiots again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The news of Cameron's death made me consider not continuing either of my descendants stories, but ultimately I decided to keep writing because I love it and because in a way it's like keeping the memory of him alive in my own little way.  
> I miss him terribly, and it'll be hard to watch D3 when it comes out, but I also hope he's at peace, wherever he is.  
> Please enjoy this chapter and I hope you're all doing alright. I hope you're all okay.  
> Love you angels xoxo

* * *

 

Evie is at the marketplace buying material for her new design idea; matching leather jackets for her, Gil, her boyfriend and her girlfriend. It feels so surreal to be able to call Uma and Harry _hers_.

_Definitely lucky_ , Evie can’t help but smile to herself. Life has certainly started looking up since she met Uma and her crew and transferred from Dragon Hall to Serpent Prep. No one there knows her as the princess Mal humiliated, they only know her as Evie, Uma and Harry’s girl, crew member of the Lost Revenge.

Life on the Isle is actually bearable, for once, and she knows it has everything to do with Uma and Harry. Evie wants to do something for them, give them something special to return the favor, as a thank you for everything they’ve done for her.

Uma told her this morning before Evie left the ship that she had a surprise planned for her later that evening. Evie’s sure this is the surprise Uma’s been planning since Evie brought her to the Curl Up and Dye. Uma’s been oddly tight-lipped about it, which has Evie excited, and Dizzy’s been acting weird the past few times Evie’s gone to see her too. The two are definitely working together.

Harry’s been crazier than usual, which might mean he’s in on it too or it might just be Harry being Harry. Gil covers his mouth whenever Evie’s around, because he’s terrible at keeping secrets and Uma probably threatened to eviscerate him if he let anything slip.

Evie doesn’t care, she’s excited no matter what Uma ends up planning. And she’s not going to show up tonight empty-handed.

The matching jackets are almost finished, Evie just needs to add one last finishing touch. The insignia of their parentage on their backs, so that everyone on the Isle knows they’re not to be messed with and should be respected.

Evie flirts with the fabric-shop owner and manages to get all the material she needs for free. Being drop-dead gorgeous has its advantages, after all. She doesn’t put work into her appearance for nothing.

She’s re-applying her lip-gloss in one of the full-length shop mirrors when a figure dressed in purple appears behind her. Evie looks away from her reflection and sees a flash of purple hair. She slips her lip-gloss back into her purse and turns around to face the unwanted stalker.

“Princess Blueberry,” She-who-shall-not-be-named greets her.

“I don’t speak with overgrown lizards, sorry,” Evie replies haughtily, side-stepping around Mal. Another figure blocks her path, tall and lean, with dark eyes and a red beanie. Jay.

“For Gods’ sake,” Evie snaps, “Are you her shadow or something?”

Jay looks taken aback, “I don’t remember her being this sarcastic.”

“I don’t remember you being this irritating,” Evie retorts sharply. “Oh, sorry, that’s a lie. You’re just as irritating as I remember you.”

“Damn, princess,” Jay whistles. “If I’d known you had this much attitude, I would have become your friend a lot sooner.”

“We’re not friends.”

Jay tilts his head, “Are we not friends?”

“No.”

“What’s up with that? We should be.” He winks at her, “Unless you want to be more?”

Evie needs to start carrying a sword on her, Harry tried to convince her to take one with her this morning but she’d said no. An idiotic decision, in hindsight.

“In your dreams,” Evie says, narrowing her eyes at him. It’s made men cower at her feet before. “Did you come over here specifically to annoy me,” She whirls on Mal, “Or did you want to lock me in another closet?”

“As tempting as that is,” Mal’s smile is as fake as her hair colour. “I’m here to make you an offer.”

“No,” Evie says immediately.

“You’re really going to want to take it,” Mal’s smile is already starting to crack. Evie scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “No. Do I have to stay it in Spanish? _No_.”

She drops into a perfect curtsy, “Have a rotten day,” She says, and makes a break for it in her four-inch heels.

She’s two streets away from the marketplace and slightly out of breath when Jay jumps down from the sloping rooftop above her and lands directly in front of her, effectively trapping her, again.

Evie is really getting sick of him, no matter how pretty he is or how soft his hair looks.

“Just hear her out,” Jay says, and Evie shoots him her most supremely unimpressed look. “Seriously, it’s a good offer.”

She knows Mal is probably lurking around a corner like a creeper somewhere, she probably sent Jay to soften Evie up or talk her into dealing.

Evie bites back a groan, she’s not going to let Mal’s shit or her negativity affect her. If listening to the girl’s proposal gets rid of her faster, Evie will pretend to listen to her terms.

“Fine,” She assumes a bored expression, crossing her arms. “Tell her she can stop lurking and face me like a real man.”

Jay barks a laugh, “Did you just call Mal a _man_?”

“I certainly wasn’t referring to you,” Evie replies coolly.

Jay smiles in a way that reminds Evie strangely of Harry, with all of his danger but none of his madness. “I’m really starting to wish Mal had introduced us sooner. I think I’m starting to like you, princess.”

“Fuck you, Jay!” Mal yells, stomping out of the alley she’d been hiding in, “You look like a rat in a beanie!”

“But a cute rat, right?”

Evie contemplates pulling out the vial of acid she has in her purse. She doesn’t know if she’d use it on herself or on them.

She must’ve been a truly bad person in a past life to deserve this.

 

* * *

 

 “She wants you to _what_?” Uma’s voice reverberates throughout the Shoppe, terrifying in its intensity. Customers look afraid for their food, Gonzo and Cook are sending each other looks across the kitchen, Desiree pokes her head out of the bathroom, Jonas is serving tables and pretending not to eavesdrop. Gil is shoveling eggs in his mouth. Harry is making it extremely obvious that he’s eavesdropping.

Evie swallows thickly, “Mal wants me to accompany her on some death quest to get her mother’s scepter. Gods’ know why, my mother hasn’t left our castle in years, I don’t even think she’s spoken to Maleficent. She’d have told me if they’d made some sort of deal or agreement.”

“So why is Mal coming to you out of the blue? It’s not because she wants makeup tips, believe me.”

“I believe you,” Evie says sincerely.

Uma huffs and softens her voice, “Sorry for shouting. I just hate not knowing what she’s up to, especially since it seems to involve you.”

Evie offers her a small smile, raising her hand to cradle Uma’s cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m obviously going to say no.”

A warm body presses up behind her, muscled and familiar. She leans into it without thinking, without question. Harry.

His voice is low and soothing in her ear, “What if,” He says, “You said yes?”

“What?” Evie sees Uma and Harry share a look over her head. “Why do I feel like something’s going to happen and I’m going to hate it?”

“Most likely,” Harry says, petting her hair.

“What if you go with Mal, and steal the scepter,” Uma’s eyes brighten dangerously, “And bring it back here.”

“That’s insane,” Evie says.

“A good portion of our plans tend to be,” Harry says conversationally, which really doesn’t help her at all.

“No doubt it’s crazy as hell,” Uma says, “But it might also be our ticket off the Isle. Evie, come on, please?”

Evie sighs and massages her temples; she can already feel she is going to regret this terribly. But she’s always had trouble telling Uma and Harry no.

“Alright,” She says. “But if I end up breaking a nail or getting a scratch on my face, you’re going to rue this day. _Rue it_.”

“There’s our princess,” Harry breathes into her hair, and Uma pulls her into a bruising kiss, right there, in the middle of the Chip Shoppe in broad daylight.

At least Evie’s not thinking about Mal anymore.

 

* * *

 

 Evie returns to the market the next day, and like he said, Jay and Mal find her.

Evie stands there, oozing false confidence, fake smile plastered on her face, wearing her six-inch made-for-stomping-on-peoples’-feet black stiletto boots. Evie really hopes Mal gives her a reason to put them to use, or else she’s just wearing really impractical shoes for nothing.

Up close, now that Evie’s paying attention and isn’t rolling her eyes so hard they fall out of her skull, she notices that Mal’s got more split-ends that she initially thought. Evie could be a decent person and offer to get her an appointment at the Curl Up and Dye, Mal’s hair is extremely tragic, as tragic as her outfit and her resting bitch face, but Evie feels like being particularly petty today.

“I can’t believe we’re walking to our deaths,” Evie mutters as Mal and Jay stop on the sidewalk beside her. “I refuse to let _your_ face be the last thing I see before I die.”

“What about my face?” Jay asks, shooting her a wicked half-smile.

If he wasn’t Mal’s pet thief, Evie would probably be flirting with him. She’d probably start laying on the charm, sweet-talking him, but as it is, she can’t help the fact that whenever she sees Jay, she sees Mal too. Literally. The girl follows Jay around like the horrible smell of cheap perfume.

“It’s nice enough,” Evie admits, debating whether or not she should try to ingratiate herself with Jay and see if she can get him away from Mal. It’s worth a try, especially since they’re going on an adventure to their deaths together and Evie doesn’t know how long those things usually take. A few hours? A day? Can she handle being in Mal’s presence that long?

“I guess I wouldn’t mind it being the _second_ to last thing I see before I die,” Evie adjusts her posture so that she’s leaning slightly towards Jay, in his space but not too close, enough that he’s aware of her but not suspicious. The way his eyes track her movements, Evie knows he’s _very_ aware of her.

“Oh yeah? What’s the last thing?”

Evie hears it in his voice, she’s definitely piqued his curiosity. “Why, my own face, of course.” Evie tilts her head to the left, at just the right angle, to show off the contour of her cheekbones, her brilliant use of highlighter and blush. She pouts her lips for added effect.

“Can’t get any closer to perfection than this,” She arches an eyebrow. Jay’s gone stiff and quiet. “Don’t you think?”

She sees him swallow, “Yeah. Definitely.” He tacks on, clearing his throat, “I always appreciate a confident girl.”

“I’m sure you do,” Evie says, honey-sweet.

“Do you guys need a room or something?” Mal demands shrilly. “This is burning my eyes to witness.”

“Feel free to look away.” _You evil shrew_ , Evie doesn’t add.

“Sorry—you’re right. We should probably go get the last member of our party and get a move on.” Jay nods at Mal, and Evie huffs in annoyance.

“Fine. Who else is dying with us?”

“We’re not going to die,” Mal says, at the same time Jay says, “Carlos De Vil. You know him, don’t you?”

Evie barely refrains from scowling; she doesn’t want to get wrinkles. “Vaguely.”

“Aren’t you guys friends?” Jay continues, persistent. “You two ran together at Dragon Hall, didn’t you?”

“I transferred,” Evie answers shortly. “We were never really friends.”

She sees Mal bite her lip. If Evie didn’t know better, she’d think Mal looked slightly guilty. Evie ignores that ridiculous thought and goes back to staring at the ground as they walk the dilapidated road to Hell Hall. It’s going to be a nightmare being back there.

“That’s weird,” Jay says, a half-frown playing on his lips. “The last time we spoke to Carlos he made it sound like you were friends. Or, at least, he thinks you guys are friends.”

“Well then, I’ll be very happy to introduce him to my new best friend,” Evie kicks viciously at a loose pebble, “ _Rejection_.”

Jay sputters, “I—I guess—uh, you’ve got some issues between the two of you.”

Even Mal looks surprised, “Clearly.”

“ _Clearly_ ,” Evie parrots, mockingly.

“Is this going to be a problem, princess?” Mal is instantly on the defensive, predictable as ever. Evie doesn’t grace her with a response.

“Whoa, hey,” Jay is quick to put himself between them. “While any other day I’d be down for a cat fight, isn’t there a goal here?”

“A goal we’ll never achieve unless we’re all on the same page,” Mal sneers at Evie.

Evie laughs out loud, “I don’t share pages with people who look like the before picture in makeovers.”

“Is this because I locked you in Cruella’s closet? You’re still bitter about that? Build a bridge and get over it!” Mal snaps.

“I’m not bitter, I just don’t like you,” Evie retorts.

“And on that cheerful note,” Jay grabs both their arms and drags them to a halt. “We’re here.”

Hell Hall is a looming building that reeks of terror and doom and tragedy and Evie refuses to step one foot in that place. “I’m waiting out here,” She says firmly.

Jay seems to understand it’s not up for debate, which she appreciates immensely. “Mal and I’ll go get him and then we can head out.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Mal scowls at the entrance to Hell Hall, then at Evie, “You better have your attitude fixed before we get back with Carlos.”

Evie glares daggers at the back of Mal’s head. Jay pats her on the back, “She’ll cool off eventually, just don’t piss her off too much, okay?”

“Don’t poke the dragon with a stick,” Evie glances at Jay. “Good advice.”

Jay drops into a little bow, “Flattery will get you everywhere,” He grins. “Be right back.”

Evie walks over to a nearby tree and leans against it while she waits for them to retrieve Carlos, so that they can kick-start this doomsday adventure.

She doesn’t know how she’s going to react when she sees Carlos, or if she’ll even be able to stomach speaking to him, considering he invited her to his party that night knowing what was going to happen to her and not lifting a hand to help despite claiming to be her friend.

Does he honestly still think they’re friends?

All the mental preparation in the world couldn’t have prepared her for the hurt that comes bubbling up when she spots Carlos walking down the pathway from Hell Hall, side-by-side with Mal and Jay.

It’s a hurt she thought she buried deep down and extinguished, she doesn’t know why it feels so fresh, like that horrible night just happened yesterday. She thinks maybe it’s because she hasn’t seen Carlos since then.

He freezes when he sees her, “Evie,” He says. He has more freckles than she remembers.

She puts on her best poker-face, “De Vil,” She replies.

It’s going to be a long walk to her death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Ride Together, Die Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the heck just happened?” Carlos sputters.  
> “Where the fuck did that demon-bird come from?” Jay demands.  
> “I can’t believe this! I’m going to disappoint my mother, again!” Mal yells.  
> This entire adventure has taken years off of Evie’s lifespan. She’s at the point where she’s ready for the sweet embrace of death, even though she’s too pretty to die, it’s got to be better than this.  
> “We just got outsmarted by a bird,” Evie declares, “I’m retiring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WATCHED DESCENDANTS 3 AND CAN I JUST SAY....DISAPPOINTED, BUT NOT SURPRISED  
> I'm honestly a little upset that it was Cameron's last movie and Carlos got so little scenes. He barely sang in this one too, at least in D2 he sang in Chillin' Like a Villain along with Booboo and Sofia. Also, speaking of that, what the heck was up with the lack of Evie and Jay too? Literally, I think Dude got the same amount of lines as them. Uma was amazing and Harry's as incredible as I remember, but I was a little weirded out by how quickly she forgave Mal for all the shit she did to her and how chill she was about Mal bossing her around and being the "leader". I use that word loosely, because Mal's not that great of one, given her friends get turned to stone after she lied to them about something serious and her solution is to sing a song about how hard it is for her and how she has to be the hero of her own story. Like, where was the relevancy? How about a song about loving your found family and not lying to them repeatedly for your own selfish reasons? Huh Mal? Catch me outside.  
> But I loved Audrey. Loved her. And Uma, and Harry, and the little bit we saw of Gil. Also, us huma shippers really won with all the intimate moments we got. I don't mind that she swerved him when he tried to kiss her, because like, he really flirted with every other living person in that room. The hoe really popped out. It was obvious she was jealous and she was going to make him work for her affection. That shot of them dancing hand in hand at the end sold it for me. They are a thing, the best thing about this whole franchise and no one can tell me otherwise.  
> Anyway, I'm ranting. On with the story! Sorry for the long wait writer's block isn't letting me live! Xoxo my loves!

* * *

 

 

“So…” Jay shoots a look over his shoulder at Evie, then at Carlos who’s walking up front with Mal. “Maybe we should get to know each other a little. I’ll start. ‘Sup, I’m Jay, and I hate tense awkward silences.”

Evie huffs a laugh. They’ve been walking along the gravel path leading to the North side of the Isle for around half an hour in silence, if Jay’s watch is working properly and isn’t broken, and Evie’s been waiting for someone to snap. Either Mal or Jay.

“I’ll go next,” Evie pulls her compact mirror and her lip-gloss out of her pocket. “I’m Evie, and I hate backstabbers who _abandon_ people in hellish closets and then have the audacity to expect a friendship bracelet.”

Mal goes into a coughing fit. Jay looks like he’s having a lot of regrets. Carlos walks face-fist into a low-hanging tree branch. Evie is extremely proud of herself.

“Who’s next?” She asks sweetly.

Carlos recovers from the tree branch to the face awfully well. “I’ll go,” He stops walking, half-turning to face Evie and blocking off the path. Evie’s forced to stop walking or risk slamming into Jay’s back.

“I’m Carlos, and I wish I could change what happened that night.”

“That’s not how the game works,” Evie says, panic seizing her. “You’re supposed to tell the rest of us something about yourself and we’re supposed to judge you for it—”

“I’m Carlos, and I hate that I didn’t get you out of that closet faster,” He says, and Evie goes cold.

“I tried to get you out,” He admits, his expression apologetic. “But I didn’t realize what happened until it was too late. You were already gone and the party ended and I had to clean up before my mother got home and strangled me with her fur coat.”

“You knew it was going to happen,” Evie says, trying hard to hold onto her anger. “You knew when you invited me what she was going to do.” She glares furiously at Mal, and the girl takes a step back, hands held up in a gesture of surrender.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Mal says.

Evie wants to throw her heel at her.

“I knew something was going to happen, I just thought she’d dump a bucket of sludge on your head or something,” Carlos isn’t meeting her eyes. Evie knows how to pick apart body language. It’s a skill her mother taught her, to know what someone is saying when they’re not saying a word, and Carlos’ guilt is easy to read.

“I think about it all the time; I wish I could go back in time and stop you from ever coming. Evie,” He pleads, “You have to believe me.”

And Hades is probably laughing at her somewhere, but Evie does believe him.

“Evie, I’m sorry,” He says, and something in her softens.

“I guess you’re forgiven,” She smiles, and her cheeks feel wet and her eyes are probably red, but she’s wearing water-proof mascara. “I could still make you that friendship bracelet if you want.”

“I’d like that,” He laughs, and before she knows what she’s doing she’s pulling him into a hug.

People don’t hug on the Isle.

 _Screw that_ , Evie thinks, as Carlos’ arms wrap loosely around her waist.

“Are you crying?” Evie hears Mal whisper to Jay.

“No, I’ve got something in my eye,” Jay hisses in reply.

“We should probably get back to adventuring,” Carlos says.

“You’re probably right,” Evie grins, gaze shifting to Mal. “Why’re we all stopped? I thought we had a goal to achieve.”

Mal grumbles and stalks off down the path, Jay gives Evie and Carlos a thumbs-up before following her.

“Thanks for forgiving me,” Carlos says. Evie links her arm with his as they navigate the rocky trail and it veers toward the right, away from civilisation and deeper into the forest. “I don’t have a lot of friends.”

“You’ve got one now,” Evie says, thinking that maybe if this quest works out and she manages to steal the scepter from Mal, she could introduce Carlos to Uma and Harry. Harry would _adore_ him.

“It’ll be nice having you around again,” Carlos says.

“If we don’t all die today, you mean,” Evie smirks.

“Please don’t say stuff like that, my heart can’t handle it. I’m literally going to have a heart attack at fifteen. Evie, Evie stop laughing. I’m serious.”

* * *

 

They don’t die.

They almost do, more times than Evie can count on one hand, but they scrape by each trial alive by the skin of their teeth, until they’ve reached the last one.

Carlos is brilliant. Jay is magnificent.

Mal is…okay, Evie supposes.

Evie stopped her from falling, when they were on the crumbling bridge. Evie watched Mal tumble towards the edge, almost in slow-motion, and her heart stopped. Time stopped.

Evie thinks that’s what separates her from every other villain on the Isle. She saved the life of her enemy, of someone who hurt her.

She thinks, as Mal asks her if she’s okay and leads them towards the scepter, that she could stop hating her. There’s a dwindling fire where her anger and resentment once burned, and it feels refreshing, to not be angry all the time.

Evie thinks she could forgive her. She thinks she’s already started. Maybe if she talks to Uma, she can explain to her that Mal’s not as bad as she was when they were nine years old, she can say that Mal’s saved her life and been almost nice to her. Maybe it’ll mean something, coming from Evie.

The scepter is everything Evie imagined it would be, she abandoned the idea of stealing it the minute Mal told them all what it means to her to bring it back to her mother. As a girl who’s always longed for her mother’s approval, Evie would never deny someone else that.

Evie reaches for the scepter, on its high resting place, fingers barely brushing the hilt when she feels a nasty shock travel down her arm. An early warning system. The scepter's guarded by dark, dark magic.

Evie immediately moves back; away from the scepter. She’s never been more thankful that Uma insisted on teaching her how to identify cursed objects, Maleficent’s scepter is definitely cursed. Although she doesn’t know _how_ , given that there’s no magic on the Isle.

Evie whirls around to warn the others not to touch it, when she catches the look on Mal’s face. It’s fleeting, there one second, gone the next, but Evie sees it nonetheless. It makes her go cold; it makes her feel numb.

Mal knows. Mal knows about the curse, whatever it is, and she was going to let Evie grab the scepter. She was going to _stand there_ and let Evie take the hit.

Her eyes scream _guilty_ , she’s tense and unnaturally still. She’s frozen, unmoving, _ashamed_. It’s written in every line of her expression.

 _This was her plan all along_ , Evie realizes. _She knew the scepter was cursed, she figured she’d let me get screwed over, and then bring the prize back to her mother_.

 _The cold-hearted bitch_.

 _She hasn’t changed at all, she’s everything I remember. It’s me who forgot, it’s me who’s the idiot. She didn’t save my life because she cared, she saved it because I was useful_.

Evie’s utterly _done_ with this shit. She just wants to go home, back to the two people who matter most.

She plasters on her most vicious smile, gestures grandly to the scepter, and says, “It’s your mother’s scepter, right? You take it.”

Mal goes deathly pale. Somewhere outside the ruined castle, a raven is laughing at them.

“Mal?” Carlos asks, glancing between her and Evie. “Is that it? Is that the real thing?”

“I really wanna get out of here, guys,” Jay pipes up. “Let’s grab the thing and go, Mal, before the room fills with water and we all drown, or something.”

Evie arches an eyebrow, “What’s wrong, Mal? Do you want me to grab it?” She weighs her next words carefully, “Everything _okay_?”

“Fine,” Mal spits out, but she looks like she’s seen a ghost. “Great. It’s great that we found it.” She takes a small step towards the scepter, her hands are shaking, just slightly. She reaches for it, and hesitates.

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” She says, taking hold of the scepter, and passing out cold.

There’s a minute of dead silence, then, Evie pokes Mal’s shoulder with her heel.

“I think she’s dead,” Evie says, thinking, _I knew it_. _Karma finally decided to return my calls._

Evie kneels down and grabs the scepter from where it rolled out of Mal’s hands when she hit the stone floor. Mal’s absorbed the curse, which means the scepter's practically harmless now.

“ _What?_ ” Jay shouts, dropping to his knees and pressing his ear to Mal’s chest. “Are you serious? You’re not serious. _What the fuck_.”

“Oh my Hades,” Carlos starts hyperventilating, eyes doubling in size. “Holy shit. _Holy shit_. It’s happening. A heart attack, it’s happening. The grave is beckoning.”

“Drama queens,” Evie mutters to herself.

“She’s _dead_!” Carlos exclaims.

“Her mom’s going to skin me alive!” Jay yells.

“And on that note,” Evie takes a small step towards the entrance they came through, getting ready to run. “I should probably—”

Mal jerks awake with a loud, breathless gasp. Jay screams, high-pitched and glass-shattering. Carlos yelps and jumps five feet in the air, clutching his chest like an old man.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Evie glares at the ceiling of the castle, picturing the Gods laughing at her in Olympus. “You’re just mocking me now. You’re laughing at me. I _hate_ you.”

“Mal!” Jay exclaims, grabbing her arm as though to reassure himself it’s really her. “Holy shit—we thought something really bad happened.”

“We thought you were dead,” Carlos admits, brain-to-mouth filter apparently demolished in the face of his near cardiac-arrest. “I’m so happy you’re not dead.”

“I was sleeping,” Mal says, leaning on Jay as he helps her to stand. “The scepter was spelled with a sleeping curse, but because I’m Maleficent’s daughter, I was able to fight it off.”

Carlos glances at Evie; relief evident in his voice. “Then it’s a good thing you weren’t the one to grab it, Evie.”

“Oh yes,” Evie desperately feels like screaming. “I’m so _lucky_.”

“Now that the curse is gone, and we’ve got the scepter, we can bring it back to my mom.” Mal holds out her hand towards Evie, an obnoxiously bright smile on her face. “E, give me the scepter, I can carry it.”

Evie glosses over the horrendous nickname, her brain furiously trying to come up with ways to get out of here with the scepter. Evie’s an optimist by nature, which on the Isle of the Lost is like a death sentence, but even she knows when it’s time to be realistic.

Realistically, there’s no way she can get out of here with the scepter. Even if she makes a break for it, either Carlos or Jay will stop her, and then everything’s ruined.

Evie bites her tongue, reminds herself that good things come to those who wait, and hands the scepter over to Mal.

Just as Mal’s hand is closing around it, a large back-feathered raven swoops down and snatches the scepter right out of her hands.

Carlos gasps, Mal shouts at the bird, Jay tries throwing rocks at it.

Evie has never face-palmed so hard _in her life_.

“What the heck just happened?” Carlos sputters.

“Where the fuck did that demon-bird come from?” Jay demands.

“I can’t believe this! I’m going to disappoint my mother, again!” Mal yells.

This entire adventure has taken years off of Evie’s lifespan. She’s at the point where she’s ready for the sweet embrace of death, even though she’s too pretty to die, it’s got to be better than _this_.

“We just got outsmarted by a _bird_ ,” Evie declares, “I’m retiring.”

* * *

 

The hike back from Maleficent’s dilapidated castle is spent in dejected silence. Carlos links his arm with Evie’s as soon as they’re across the crumbling bridge of death—and Evie doesn’t shove him off because he’s not the one who lost tug-of-war to a bird.

No one says anything, it’s almost eerie how quiet Jay is being, but Evie supposes he doesn’t want to face Mal’s wrath if he makes a joke and sets her off. Mal is scowling like someone murdered her baby dragon in front of her, crippling failure does that to a person.

Evie is fuming herself, but she’s an expert at hiding her immense displeasure. She’s angry for not running with the scepter when she had the chance, maybe she would’ve gotten away with it, at least it wouldn’t be in the hands of a bird.

She’s also _supremely_ furious with Mal, it’s a good thing the girl is walking in front of her, because Evie’s been glaring holes into the back of her head undisturbed since they started the trek home.

She realizes, abruptly, that Mal never apologized for what she did. She told Evie to get over it. She saved Evie’s life on that bridge—for her own selfish reasons, but still—and she decided that was enough to earn forgiveness. But she never asked for it.

Mal is the kind of person who doesn’t apologize for the crappy things she does, she’s entitled that way, and Evie thought she could change. Hot damn was she wrong. It took her almost being subjected to a sleeping curse to see it, but better now than later.

Evie nearly breaks into a run when the marketplace comes into view. The docks are five streets away, if she runs, she could find Harry before he leaves the ship for his shift at Ursula’s—

Then someone’s hand is on her wrist, and she thinks it’s Carlos at first, but he’s still clutching her upper arm.

It’s Mal.

_What in the seven hells—_

Mal starts talking, about how they’re a team now and stuff, and how nearly dying made her realize she cared about them as more then henchmen _blah blah blah_.

Jay mentions how there’s no I in team, and Evie is about to agree with him, but then he _smiles_ at Carlos and says that he’s prepared to make an _exception_.

Carlos blushes, he’s a disaster like that, but it’s cute. Evie wants to wrap him in blankets and give him another pillow.

He tells them he’s never felt a part of something until today, until _them_ , and any hope Evie has about moving on from this without having to talk to Mal again—vanishes.

“What do you say? Jay, Carlos, E?” That nickname is going to send her to an early grave, Evie doesn’t say, she’s too busy contemplating the merits of throwing herself off the pier.

“Rotten to the core?” Mal says, and it’s the cringiest thing Evie’s ever heard.

“Rotten to the core,” Jay chimes passionately, and Carlos laughs and parrots it back to him, and the two of them are gazing into each other’s eyes and Evie wants to tell them to get a room.

Mal shoots her an expectant look, and it strikes Evie that she’s waiting on her.

Evie feels more trapped than she felt back at Maleficent’s castle, scepter in her hand, with nowhere to run.

Then it dawns on her, Uma and Harry asked her to cozy up to Mal because they wanted inside information, and there’s no better way to get dirt on Mal than by infiltrating her gang.

Her heart a dead weight in her chest, Evie intertwines her and Mal’s fingers and says, half-choked; “Rotten to the core.”

Nothing has ever felt like a bigger betrayal.

 

 

 

 


	5. All Good Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Evie!” Mal shouts, and Evie winces, freezing in her tracks. “Uma, you know Evie, right?”
> 
> Uma’s eyes are wide and unreadable. Her face is blank, she’s always been good at hiding her emotions.
> 
> “Oh, c’mon, don’t pretend. You guys hung out before Evie joined our gang,” Mal grins sharply. “Remember? Don’t look so stunned, it’s not the first time someone’s left you for me, and it definitely won’t be the last.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :((
> 
> Thank you so much for the support!! I love you all!!! :))))) <3<3<3<3

 

* * *

 

The feeling doesn’t go away.

The four of them are tearing up the market, raising hell, and Evie is holding back tears the whole time. She’s not reveling in the chaos, she’s not having fun—because Harry’s not here and Jay’s no substitute, and Mal doesn’t even come _close_ to Uma.

Carlos is great though, at the end of this she might invite him to join the Wharf Rats. He’s smart, and quietly determined, and the hardest worker she’s ever met. Harry would love him.

Evie was counting on being able to tell Uma and Harry about her plan and getting their advice and support. What she wasn’t counting on, not in a _million years_ , was Mal suggesting they go by the Chip Shoppe and screw with the pirates.

Panic is crawling up Evie’s throat, filling her chest; she’s drowning in it. She can’t do that; she can’t look Uma in the eye and pretend she’s joined her worst enemy. She can’t betray her and Harry like that.

But there’s no talking Mal out of it, she’s dead-set on terrorizing the pirates and showing them “Who the best gang is”. Evie thinks that’s the most childish thing she’s ever heard; Mal acts more like a ten-year-old throwing a tantrum than the sixteen-year-old she’s _supposed_ to be.

Evie is close to hysterics; half-way to a full-blown panic attack. Carlos notices and frowns at her, his hand coming up to rub circles into her shoulders.

“Evie, hey, it’s gonna be fine.” He sends a worried look at Jay. “I forgot that you wouldn’t be used to this, the Isle can be hard to re-adjust to.”

“You’ll be okay,” Jay assures her, he probably thinks it’s reassuring but it’s just causing Evie more panic. “None of those two-bit pirates will lay a hand on you.”

Evie almost snaps at him, but she holds herself back; _barely_. Carlos murmurs softly to her and hums old nursery songs under his breath until she calms down. He’s a blessing.

Mal starts tapping her foot impatiently. “Is everyone ready? Are we good to go in?” She doesn’t even care that Evie’s eyes are bloodshot her hands are shaking.

 _No. No, please don’t make me do this_.

“Yeah,” Carlos says, worried eyes still focused on Evie.

“We’ll follow your lead,” Jay adds, but even he seems a little unsure about this, because he has a _brain_ and Mal has a lizard-sized one.

Evie’s breath hitches, she’s a fucking mess, she hopes Uma and Harry will see right through her and know she’s faking.

 _Forgive me_.

“Ready,” She whispers, and then Mal is kicking the Chip Shoppe door open and barging in.

Jay goes in after her, Carlos squeezes Evie’s hand and follows him, and Evie is left standing on the cobblestone street with her heart in her throat and her eyes stinging.

She could run away. She could.

 _She can’t_.

Evie takes a deep breath, and enters the restaurant.

* * *

 

It’s a shouting match the minute she enters, there are swords pointed at Carlos and Jay, and Mal’s got Harry’s hook an inch away from her neck.

If Evie’s lucky, no one will notice her.

She takes a half-step, and every head in the room swivels to face her.

Damn it.

“Evie!” Mal shouts, and Evie winces, freezing in her tracks. “Uma, you know Evie, right?”

Uma’s eyes are wide and unreadable. Her face is blank, she’s always been good at hiding her emotions.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t pretend. You guys hung out before Evie joined our gang,” Mal grins sharply. “Remember? Don’t look so stunned, it’s not the first time someone’s left you for me, and it definitely won’t be the last.”

Uma’s blank mask falters, and Harry looks murderous, and Evie—

Evie’s completely blindsided. She recalls that day in Harry’s room, one of the best days of her life, where he told her he discovered Mal was stalking Uma. She’d stopped not long after that, and Evie and Harry had been too caught up in each other to carry out their drown-her-and-hide-her-in-Maleficent’s-bathtub plan.

But it’s hitting Evie like a freight train now. Mal was following Uma, she would have seen Evie with her, would have known the two of them were thick as thieves.

This is planned, everything, all of it, has been planned since that day Mal spoke to Evie in the market. Mal didn’t ask Evie to go on an adventure with her because she wanted to be best friends, she did it because she knew Evie was close with Uma and that taking Evie away from her would hurt the girl.

This has all been a game to her.

Evie has never despised anyone more in her _life_. She’s so unbelievably furious, she almost wishes Harry’s hook would slip and cut Mal’s neck. _Almost_.

Jay looks surprised. Carlos has a look of shock. Evie just stand there, rooted to her spot, nails digging into her palms.

“Jealousy’s not a good look on you, Uma,” Mal snickers, continuing her taunting. “Evie realized what a wimp you are as quickly as I did. Is it any surprise she ditched you for me? Nobody wants a Shrimpy.”

And there it is. The name. The name Evie will never say even if someone puts a sword to her throat.

“Right, E?” Mal prompts, smiling cruelly from ear to ear.

Evie’s lips move soundlessly. Her voice cracks on the word, “Right.”

The damage is done. All of the pirates are stunned silent; unmoving. Evie’s been part of their crew and they all know her well. None of them look like they were expecting this. _Evie_ wasn’t expecting this.

Mal winks at Uma and flips her hair. She nudges Harry’s hook away from her, spins on her heel, and saunters out of the restaurant. Jay and Carlos fall in line behind her, and Evie snags Carlos’ arm as he leaves, gripping it tightly. She feels faint, like he’s the only thing holding her up. She can’t bear to look back at Uma and Harry.

The door swings shut behind them.

“Holy shit,” Jay says, as soon as they’re down the street. “ _What the fuck_. How did we make it out of there alive?”

“They weren’t expecting Evie,” Mal laughs, and she has the audacity to _grab Evie’s hand._ “We got the upper-hand. How’s it feel to be on the winning side now, princess?”

 _Princess_.

“Amazing,” Evie says, and she feels like throwing up.

* * *

 

The boys and Mal stay over at her castle that night, despite Evie’s _many_ attempts to get them to _leave_ , so she doesn’t get the chance to talk to Harry and Uma until the next day.

Mal has to go home and tell her mother she’s a _massive failure_ who got beaten by a bird. Carlos has countless chores he has to do since he was gone yesterday and the list his mother left him started piling up. Jay offers to help him and the two of them leave Evie’s early in the morning.

Evie wakes up, stares at her ceiling, and thinks she wouldn’t mind if it collapses on her. If Uma and Harry don’t forgive her, she thinks she might set the castle on fire, burn it to the ground with her in it. She’s not being dramatic _at all_ , she’s dead serious.

She gets dressed in her nicest leather dress, midnight blue and slightly revealing—the way Harry likes it. She slips on her spiked heels; the ones Harry loses his mind over and Uma says look like they could kill someone. She does her makeup flawlessly; curls her hair until _her mother_ tells her it looks _good_. And that’s extremely high praise, coming from her mother.

Evie wraps the leather jackets she made for Uma, Harry, Gil and herself in bubble-gum pink sheet wrapping and ties the wrapping together with a pastel blue bow. She prays to whichever God is watching her right now that they like the jackets. She spent three days bent over her sewing machine making them.

Evie walks the trail from her castle to the marketplace, debating whether she should go to the Chip Shoppe or the Lost Revenge, when a pair of rough hands wrap around her waist and drags her into an alley.

She’s pushed up against the alley wall, firmly but not roughly, and she squeezes the jackets to her chest in case she’s about to get mugged. Evie is prepared to fight to the death for these jackets.

She finally sees who her kidnapper is; it’s Jonas.

“Jonas,” Evie says, breathing a sigh of relief. “Jonas, you scared me—”

He doesn’t say a word to her, and that stings, but she understands the anger he must be feeling. She understands because she’s feeling it, too.

“Jonas, listen to me—”

“The Captain will hear you out,” He says gruffly, turning her around and army-marching her down the gravel path, away from the marketplace and towards the docks.

 _The ship_.

“She and Harry will listen to whatever explanation you might have, and then they’ll judge whether they believe you or not.”

Evie steals herself, “What happens if they don’t believe me?”

“Then it’s treason,” Jonas mutters, and there’s no happiness in his voice. He sounds sad; mournful. “You’ll be kicked out of the crew.”

“And then?” Evie’s heart is hammering.

He inhales sharply, “And then you walk the plank.”

* * *

 

The scariest thing, Evie decides, is the way Gil reacts when he sees her.

He does nothing. There’s no running hug, he doesn’t twirl her around, he doesn’t hold her so tightly she can’t breathe.

He’s indifferent, or he’s trying to be, at least.

Evie is still clutching the jackets to her chest. She avoids the eyes of the other crew members as she passes, she doesn’t want to see the way they look at her differently now.

Harry’s eyeliner is smudged and messy when Jonas stops her in front of him. His eyes are dark; his smile is manic.

 _Oh Hades, she’s screwed_.

Sadness wells up in her, she wants so badly to kiss him. “Harry,” She whispers urgently. “Harry, please—”

“Harry,” Uma’s voice rings out, and Evie flinches. She sounds cold; detached. It’s horrible. “Bring her here, we’ll do this in the Captain’s quarters. Jonas, you did good, Desi’s at the Shoppe if you wanna help there.”

Jonas nods and leaves without a backwards glance. Evie realizes that Uma means for this to be private, only Harry and Gil are following her to the Captain’s quarters. The rest of the crew isn’t.

Evie says nothing until they’re behind closed doors. She’s trying to collect her thoughts, pull herself together, but she’s losing her mind and she can’t think of anything to say. She _loves_ these people; she loves them in a place where love isn’t supposed to exist.

Uma takes off her hat, sets it down on her nightstand. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

“Tell me it wasn’t real,” Her words are soft; stilted. “Please tell me what happened last night wasn’t true.”

Evie’s throat burns, “It wasn’t. Uma, I swear.”

She tells them what happened after she took off with Mal and the boys; how she nearly died a few times, and Mal tried to trick her into an eternal slumber, and how a bird stole the scepter after Evie had to give it up or risk being found out. She also tells them how Mal asked her to join her gang, and how Evie couldn’t say no and only said yes so that she could dig up more dirt on Mal. She ends by telling them how Mal forced her to come to the Chip Shoppe last night and used Evie’s supposed betrayal to hurt Uma. Evie puts a lot of emphasis on the _supposed_ _betrayal_ part.

“She knew we were friends, and she tried to use me to hurt you,” Evie sniffs, “But Uma, I promise, I thought of you the whole time. She thinks we’re on the same side but we’re not, I still hate her as much as I always did. I’m still your best friend, that’ll never change.”

There’s a weighted pause. Then, Gil’s expression cracks, and he’s smiling brightly. It’s like staring into the sun.

“I knew it!” He crowed, wrapping Evie up in one of his signature hugs. “I knew you had to be faking it. There’s no way you’d do that to us.”

Evie gives a wet laugh, “No way. You know you’re my favorite.”

Gil doesn’t let go of her for a long time. The instant he does, Harry’s there, crowding her and lacking any concept of personal space. He’s got Evie up against the headrest of Uma’s bed in a heartbeat.

He’s kissing her feverishly, and for once, Evie couldn’t care less about her lipstick smudging.

“I missed you,” She mumbles it against his cheek. “Even though your eyeliner is atrocious.”

“You adore what a mess I am,” Harry says, and it’s not a question. He knows she’s crazy about him, and she’d be screwed if she didn’t know he’s just as crazy about her.

“I never doubted you,” He whispers into her ear. “I thought the hell-spawn pushed you over a cliff and you had brain damage or amnesia or something, but I never doubted you.”

“Thanks,” She huffs a laugh. “Talk dirty to me more.”

“I’ll let our Captain have that privilege,” Harry giggles, and he manages to be both gorgeous and terrifying at the same time. He puts the ‘hot’ in ‘psychotic’.

Uma’s eyes are wild and breathtaking when she pulls Evie close to her. “You’re such a genius,” She smiles wickedly. “I trust you completely. I know you don’t need the reminder, but maybe…” She traces her fingers over the skin of Evie’s collarbone. “We should remind everyone else who you belong to, even if they don’t know it. _We will_.”

“What were you thinking?” Evie is up for literally _anything_. She just wants Uma to stare at her like that forever.

Harry shifts so he’s pressed against her back, enveloping her like a blanket, like a second skin. He grins into her hair, presses a kiss to her temple.

“We’ve still got the tattoo gun,” She can hear the smirk in Harry’s voice. “How would you feel about having our names inked into your skin, love.”

Evie can hear angels singing in the distance, “That is the best idea I’ve heard in two whole days.”

“I can think of a better one,” Uma touches Evie’s bottom lip gently.

“What?” Evie shivers.

“Kiss me,” Uma says, and the world has never felt brighter.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. How to Seduce a Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have to put on your best heels and seduce Mal,” Harry continues, like it’s a foregone conclusion and Evie will just agree. “I believe in you.”
> 
> Evie stares him dead in the eyes and proceeds to try and suffocate him with his own pillow. 
> 
> She nearly succeeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life Update:
> 
> I'm alive. Yay? I guess. I haven't slept in two days, 2020 is off to a great start. Happy New Year!
> 
> I thank you all for being super patient and amazing, and I hope you like the chapter! It's short, but that's because I'm setting up for it to kick off the first Descendants movie in the next chapter! Please keep being patient with me! I know, I know, it's been 84 years...
> 
> Have a great week my loves! Update for my other story coming soon! I promise!
> 
> happy reading angels xoxo

* * *

Evie must doze off at some point, because when she wakes the lighting in the captain’s quarters is dimmer than it was before, and she has to blink a few times for her eyes to adjust.

Outside the porthole the sky is monotone gray, dull and cloudy. Evie sits up a little in Uma’s bed and registers that she’s wrapped around Gil, but Uma and Harry are gone.

She glances across the room. The two of them are seated at Uma’s desk, Harry’s sitting on Uma’s lap, and they’re whispering to each other.

_Oh no. Whose death are they planning?_

“What are you guys doing?” Evie clears her throat. Harry yelps and almost slides off Uma’s lap.

He recovers quickly, “We’re scheming,” He declares happily.

Evie’s got the horrible feeling this will end with her having to hide someone’s body. “Should I be concerned?” She inquires.

“Probably,” Harry replies, and Uma shushes him. She shakes her head, “Nothing to worry about, princess. We’re not gonna kill anyone.” She adds, quieter, “We have to finalize our plan before we can actually _do_ anything.”

Evie’s heart stops, “So you are planning on killing someone.” She considers it, if it’s Mal, _well_ — “I’m in.”

Harry cheers, “This is why you’re my go-to for murder.”

Uma looks exasperated, “We’re not actually going to _murder_ her okay, just humiliate her so completely she’s going to lock herself in a box and never come out again.”

“I love it when you talk evil to me,” Harry sighs lovingly.

“Whatever the plan is, I’m still in,” Evie says. “She messed with me one too many times. Also, I think she might have,” Evie shudders. “A crush on me. She keeps calling me this atrocious nickname and trying to hold my hand.”

“That’s it,” Harry swears. “I’m cutting her hand off.”

“Cutting whose hand off?” Gil asks, having finally woken up.

“The purple lizard’s,” Harry supplies.

“She who shall not be named,” Evie says when Gil looks confused.

“Mal,” Uma groans, when Gil _still_ looks confused.

Recognition dawns on Gil’s face, “Oh. Her. Okay. I’m on board with that.”

“We’re _not_ cutting her hand off,” Uma glares at Harry’s kicked puppy expression. “Harry, no.”

“Harry, _yes_.” Harry retorts.

“Can we reschedule this argument for later?” Evie pushes herself off the mattress. “I have gifts to give you and I want to look good when I give you them.”

“Evie,” Uma huffs. “You look amazing.”

“I need to look sensational,” Evie says, riffling through her purse for her compact. “I have standards and they are high.”

“As do I,” Harry grins. “It is incredibly hard to meet my standards.”

Evie rolls her eyes as she re-applies her lip-gloss. Uma shoots him a scowl.

“Damn, you’re meeting all of my standards,” Harry wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Evie is tempted to invite him back to bed for round two but her mascara is smudged and that _will not do, at all_. Her mother didn’t raise an airhead, when Evie seduces someone, she does it looking utterly flawless.

“Bitch please,” Uma scoffs. “I _exceed_ your standards.”

“This we’ve always known,” Gil agrees. He teasingly adds, “Also, when did Harry get standards?”

“Maybe he stole himself some standards,” Evie says, smirking sweetly. She pointedly ignores the glare Harry aims her way, pocketing her lip-gloss and moving onto fixing her eyeliner. A winged look would make her eyes stand out, and Evie’s eyes should always stand out, obviously. She starts applying eyeliner on her right eye.

“I feel attacked,” Harry grumbles. “And I don’t appreciate it.”

“Unfortunate,” Evie says sarcastically, moving onto her left eye.

“Sucks to be you,” Gil tacks on cheerily.

“A plague on your houses,” Harry snaps.

Gil sounds adorably confused, “I live on a ship. Harry, we live on the _same_ ship—”

“I said what I said,” Harry retorts childishly, just as Evie finishes applying her eyeliner. She touches up her mascara and puts her compact away.

She claps her hands and turns to face her friends excitedly, “Who wants their present first?” She asks.

Uma shoots her a frown, “When did you have the time to make us presents? Between almost dying on your adventure and Mal developing a gross crush on you?”

“Somewhere in that time-frame, yes,” Evie replies, shrugging elegantly. “I’m good at multitasking. Here, everyone just open your gifts at the same time, I want to see all of your reactions.”

She picks her discarded bag off the floor and pulls out each carefully wrapped package, handing them out to her friends. She’s so excited she feels like she’s going to vibrate out of her skin, she really hopes they like the jackets. If they don’t, Evie’s probably going to upcycle them, but her heart will be crushed beyond repair so they _have to like them_. There is no alternative option.

Uma is methodical in unwrapping the tissue paper and ribbon, Harry is overly paranoid and looks like he’s wondering where the self-destruct button on the gift is, and Gil tears through the tissue paper like a man on a mission.

Evie has no clue why she’s in love with these fools.

Gil inhales sharply as he removes the last of the tissue paper, his eyes going wide and watery. Evie realizes she’s holding her breath and digs her nails into her palms to calm down.

“Evie,” Gil says her name reverently, like he doesn’t believe she really exists. He holds up the jacket she made for him and hugs it to his chest. “It’s amazing. Thank you so much!”

Evie feels warm all over, her stomach alive with butterflies. She moves over to where Gil is slouching on the edge of Uma’s bed, still hugging his new jacket to his chest. She kneels on the floor in front of him and pulls him into a tight embrace, until his chin is resting on her collarbone. They stay like that; they stay holding each other so long Evie loses track of time.

It doesn’t matter, because time is a social construct, relative and meaningless. This, holding Gil close, this is meaningful. It’s worth something.

Her heart feels like a wild thing in her rib-cage, beating erratically as though it’s trying to run away, but then Harry and Uma are there, and they have their arms around her too. Someone presses a gentle kiss to her forehead; it could be either of them. Evie doesn’t care, so long as both of them stay.

They fit together like puzzle pieces; their sharp edges complement one another.

The world goes breathtakingly quiet, in a way that makes Evie forget all of her problems.

Reality, of course, has an awful way of reminding her.

* * *

 

She made herself a jacket too, dark blue leather with a blood red crown on the back, rhinestones and golden spikes embroidered on the sleeves.

She realizes as she tugging it on that she can’t wear it with them.

News has broken out about Evie’s supposed betrayal; the whole Isle saw her tearing up the market with Jay and Carlos and Mal. Evie’s supposed to be _theirs_ now.

Evie hates it more than she hates overalls.

“The double-agent business not as glamorous as you thought it’d be, love?” Harry asks, grinning cheekily as they hide out in his room. Uma had to return to Ursula’s and Gil’s moronic older brothers came looking for him, so it’s just the two of them now.

Evie suppresses a scowl; she’s trying to avoid wrinkling prematurely. “I would scratch out your eyes, but I don’t want to ruin my nails,” She tells him.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Harry gasps. “You love my eyes. They’re my best feature, well, after everything else.”

“Modesty is a virtue, Harry,” Evie huffs, equal parts exasperated and fond.

“Modesty is for boring people,” Harry retorts dryly. “I’m the best-looking thing on this whole island and everyone should know it.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Evie says, sweet and vicious at the same time. She twists closer to him, they’re lying tangled together on his bed, and his annoyingly beautiful face is a breath away from her. She traces her index finger along the line of his jaw to his cheekbone, the dark red of her acrylic nails drifting dangerously close to his sky-blue eyes.

“You know you’re my number two, right?” She lowers her voice, batting her eyelashes at him.

Harry looks utterly ecstatic that she’s threatening him. He looks over the moon.

“That’s funny,” He says, lips impossibly close. “Uma says I’m her number one.”

“Uma’s not here now though,” Evie points out. “And you’re not leaving until you admit I’m the fairest on the Isle.”

Her other hand, the one she’s not cupping his face with, drifts from where she was playing with his hair to the hollow of his throat. She draws a thin line across the soft skin of his neck with the sharp edge of her nail. She makes sure to be gentle, Harry likes her dangerous, but he likes her soft too.

“Say it,” She demands.

“Marry me,” Harry exclaims.

Evie pouts, “Not that. Stop ruining my foreplay.”

“If I go along with your foreplay, _then_ will you marry me?”

“I think Uma would throw us overboard if we had our wedding without her,” Evie rolls her eyes. “Also, Gil has it in his head that he wants to be the flower boy.”

“That’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard. Jonas wants to be the one to marry us.” Harry scoffs incredulously, “He’s not even an ordained minister.”

“This is making my head hurt,” Evie says, sitting up and propping herself against the headboard. “When I joined this crew, Uma promised me everyone was sane.”

“She gave you the wrong flyer,” Harry laughs. “False advertisement, love. We’re all bloody insane.”

“I know that _now_ ,” Evie says, stifling her own laughter. _Laughter causes wrinkles, darling._ “One-eight-hundred too late.”

“Pirate rule number 13,” Harry says matter-of-factly. “Never show how batshit crazy you are until the person is too madly in love with you to leave you.”

“That’s right,” Evie concedes. “Unfortunately, I’m in love with you, despite the warning signs.”

They kiss for a while and then Harry makes a weird aborted noise and abruptly dives off the mattress.

“Uma and I never told you about our plan!” He declares, smiling too widely to be healthy. “It’s a brilliant plan.” He rushes over to his desk, retrieving the paper he and Uma were pouring over in her room earlier, and bringing it over for Evie to inspect.

Evie resists the urge to face-palm, only Harry would abandon a steamy makeout session to go over battle plans. He and Uma are going to drive her to an early grave.

“Harry, I love you,” Evie sighs. “But you’re a lot of work.”

“I love you too,” Harry replies, upbeat. “What’s your point?”

“Never mind,” Evie takes the paper from his hands, spends several seconds trying to make sense of Harry’s disaster handwriting. Uma’s messy scrawl is easier to read, but it’s smudged at the edge where the ink didn’t have time to dry and Evie has to squint to make out the letters.

All Evie can think is that if she ends up ruining her eye-sight and needing glasses, it’s game over.  Her mother will never love her then, her mother has it in her head that glasses are for the weak.

The main thing Evie is able to gather from Harry and Uma’s messily drawn-up battle plan, is that it relies heavily on her playing Mal like a fiddle. Somewhere in the right top corner of the paper, Harry started writing out ways for her to do this, top of the list; _seduce her_.

“I’m not seducing Mal,” Evie tells him, feeling supremely offended by the idea alone. “I’d rather seduce an actual dragon.”

“Really?” Harry quirks an eyebrow, “This is where you draw the line?”

“I have to start somewhere,” Evie snaps, exasperated. “Right here. The line has been drawn; this far, no farther.”

“Unfortunately for you, there are no dragons on the Isle to seduce,” Harry says, as though Evie didn’t know this, as though he actually considered the possibility of Evie having to seduce a dragon. She could probably do it, too.

“You have to put on your best heels and seduce Mal,” Harry continues, like it’s a foregone conclusion and Evie will just agree. “I believe in you.”

Evie stares him dead in the eyes and proceeds to try and suffocate him with his own pillow. She nearly succeeds.

Uma returns an hour later, walking into Harry’s room like it also belongs to her, saying something about having a few hours free since she switched shifts with Bonnie.

Evie narrows her eyes at Uma the moment she enters the room, “You want me to seduce Mal? You’re joking, right?”

“I wish I was,” Uma says. “Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. It’s our best bet at staying one step ahead of her, though. Mal’s a textbook narcissist, show some interest in her, act like you think she’s the _best thing ever_ , and you’ll have her wrapped around your finger.”

“I would rather die,” Evie says primly. “Nothing you say can convince me to forsake my dignity like this.”

Harry shoots her the puppy-dog eyes. Uma starts taking off her clothes.

“Damn it,” Evie mutters, cursing her inability to deal with pretty people. She starts undressing, but she makes a point of showing how unhappy she is by undressing as aggressively as possible. “Fine, you’ve convinced me. I’ll do it.”

That’s how the loves of her life rope her into operation _seduce evil incarnate_.

Evie forces Uma and Harry to change the name.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
